


The Hardest Part Of Dating An Avenger Is...

by cpt_winniethepooh



Series: Stucky Bingo fills [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avenger Bucky Barnes, Avengers Family, BAMF Peggy Carter, Canon Disabled Character, Canon Divergence - Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Christmas Party, Disability, Domestic Avengers, M/M, Meeting the Family, Mental Health Issues, Misconceptions, Non-Serum Steve Rogers/Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes | Shrinkyclinks, Oneshot, POV Steve Rogers, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Sign Language, Sort Of, Steve Rogers Feels, steve rogers has a lot to prove, strategist steve rogers, to himself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28271862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cpt_winniethepooh/pseuds/cpt_winniethepooh
Summary: Steve had thought that the hardest part of dating an Avenger would be dealing with dangerous missions, and they certainly weren't easy.  Steve had to manage their shared life while factoring in his many health issues and neuroses and also his boyfriend's hazardous job and his PTSD as a result of being the Winter Soldier.However, none of that was as hard as actually going to the Avengers Tower for their annual Christmas party and meeting Bucky's teammates. What will they think of Steve, skinny and sickly? And more importantly, what will Steve think of the famous heroes of the world?A story of meeting the found family, Christmas miracles and learning that looks can be deceiving.A Bucky Barnes Bingo fill for the prompt 'shrinkyclinks' and a Stucky Bingo fill for the prompt 'Tony Stark'.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Series: Stucky Bingo fills [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2075724
Comments: 14
Kudos: 164
Collections: Bucky Barnes Bingo 2020, Stucky Bingo 2020





	The Hardest Part Of Dating An Avenger Is...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [koreanrage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/koreanrage/gifts).



> A gift to [Koreanrage](https://koreanrage.tumblr.com/) for the Stucky Secret Santa 2020! She wanted shrinkyclinks and non-serum!Steve dealing with Avenger!Bucky's life and I injected some extra Christmas into it :) Hope you like it!<br />  
> Also written for the Bucky Barnes Bingo free square, for which I chose 'shrinkyclinks', and the Stucky A4, 'Tony Stark'.
> 
> (Is it just a remix of my own fic [I Never Saw You Coming](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24978940/chapters/60471820), which in turn is inspired by galwednesday's[ Bait and Switch](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13554312)? Yes. Yes it is, and I'm not even sorry about it.)

"I won't know anybody there, Pegs," Steve said. It sounded petulant even to his own ears.

"And when has that ever stopped you?" she asked. Something on her side of the line rustled, and Steve heard liquid being poured, then the pang as metal met porcelain. "You usually don't care about what people think about you, except when you can make them aghast."

"I _don't_ care," Steve said, and heard Peggy take a sip of her tea as a response. Judgingly. "I don't!" He insisted.

He set out to make himself his morning decaf with Peggy in his ear, and while he waited for the water to boil, he also picked his meds out from the cabinet.

"But these are the Avengers," he added quietly.

"How is that any different than if Bucky was having a normal desk job? The Avengers are just people too."

Steve had always envied Peggy's confidence and her stable sense of value. She never wanted to show the world. Steve wanted to show the world way too much.

"They aren't," Steve said. "For one thing, Thor is literally not human. Everyone there is rich, and/or famous even aside from being an Avenger, and/or a genius."

It went unsaid that Steve was none while most of the Avengers were at least two of those.

"Steve, you have nothing to be ashamed about. You're working to make the world better in your own way. Not everybody can go out and punch aliens and wizards as a day job."

"I know that," Steve said. "I'm just not looking forward to an evening with people who _won't_ see it that way."

That, he was certain of. He was used to how everybody saw him: underweight, sickly, nerdy. An artist with big dreams and a mountain of student loans. He didn’t mind it as much as he had in his twenties, let alone as a teenager when everybody else started to outgrow him, but he still didn’t like situations where he would solely be judged on first impressions instead of skill or talent.

"Mhm," Peggy hummed, realizing the crux of it. "You're not worried about them judging you; you're worried about arguing with them while you're proving your worth and making a bad impression in front of Bucky."

This is why Peggy and Steve worked so well together; still, Steve suddenly wanted to not talk to her for a few years.

"Bucky knows me," Steve protested. "He knows I can get... intense."

"You're still worried they'll say something mean and you'll flip tables," Peggy said with mirth.

"I'm worried the party's gonna be full of snobs and I'll hate every minute of it," Steve insisted.

"Come now, Bucky wouldn't have invited you if he thought you wouldn't like it."

But that was the thing: Bucky clearly hadn't wanted to invite Steve. He got all stone-faced and resentful about it, when he told Steve that the Avengers had a tradition of spending Christmas Eve together and asked if Steve wanted to join. They had been going out since early Summer, and Steve hadn't met any of Bucky's colleagues, so this would've seemed like a welcome step forward if Bucky hadn't been dragging his feet about it.

"Tony insists we both go," he said, and Steve nodded, and have been panicking since, because Bucky hadn't really wanted to take Steve with him, clearly. Because the Avengers would resent Steve and Steve would flip out, and really, why even was Bucky together with Steve again?

"Oh, crap, I have to go – catch you later!" Peggy said on the phone, and hung up after he confirmed, leaving Steve alone with his doubts and his half-cold coffee.

The thing was, Steve never expected this Christmas party to be the hardest part of dating an Avenger. Not that he ever expected he would be dating an Avenger in the first place – where even would he have met one?

The answer was in a dark alley in Brooklyn, after which they kept talking without noticing how much time had passed. Bucky lived in Bed-Stuy, whereas Steve in Brownsville, but Bucky almost walked Steve home that first day, then they kept making up reasons to meet up in parks and diners and a few weeks later they had to admit that they were dating.

According to Peggy, Steve had a lift to his steps and a smile in the corner of his mouth when his phone lit up with Bucky's messages, and life was too short to deny that Bucky made Steve feel like he was on the moon.

Steve had one steady and another less-steady job, and he'd thought that Bucky's missions would be the biggest obstacle he would have to deal with. And they certainly weren't easy; Bucky could and indeed was called away in the middle of a movie, then a dinner that Steve had done his best to make romantic, and even during a deep discussion about sex that they had fully planned to finish in the bedroom, just to name a few, and Steve simply had to be okay with that.

Bucky did his best to keep in touch as much as he could and gave Steve a brand-new Stark phone while blushing adorably.

"This can't be traced," he said, casting his eyes down. "So we could text while I'm away."

Steve didn't want to accept it, but it was either this, or not knowing how Bucky was doing for days, or sometimes even weeks at a time, so there really was no point in being too proud.

Stark had money to burn, anyway.

But Bucky was away often, and soon Steve got used to the worry that gnawed at his stomach whenever he didn't get an answer for a day or longer, and he’d refresh news sites in the hopes of stumbling across something relevant and finding out what had happened. Answers were hard to get by when Bucky was sent out on covert ops, but the alternative wasn't much better. When the Avengers had to face a domestic threat as a group, Steve was plastered in front of the TV, twisting his fingers, wishing Bucky didn’t get hurt, because there was nothing else he to do

But each time Bucky came back, safe and sound, or at the very least only sporting small bruises and injuries and let Steve hug him until Steve's already erratic heartbeat calmed down.

And maybe he held onto Steve with equal force, wanting to reassure Steve or himself that all was well.

Eventually, around fall, they exchanged keys for their apartments.

"Ooooh," Peggy cooed when she heard. "That's a big step!"

Steve felt himself go red in the face. "It's logical," he said, excessively glad that she couldn’t see him. It was easier to meet up with Bucky if he didn't have to worry about being stuck out in the rain if something came up, and Bucky could pop in to his without going home first while Steve was still at work.

It wasn't moving in, but the time that Bucky spent in New York was mostly spent with Steve.

This, all of this required from Steve to manage his life while factoring in his many health issues and neuroses and also Bucky's hazardous job and his PTSD, and yet none of that was as hard as actually going to the Avengers Tower to meet the actual Avengers.

Bucky was different from the rest of his team. He connected with Steve because they both understood what it meant to be outcasts, to be looked downed upon, to live with pain; and probably because of other things that science couldn't name and fairy tales called 'love'. The rest of the Avengers weren't like that based on what Steve had heard from news stories and what Bucky had mentioned. According to those, Steve had the highest chance of liking Clint, but even he owned a building.

All Steve owned was a health record long enough to use as tapestry in his run-down apartment.

On Christmas Eve, he dressed in nice shirt and slacks, got the wine out of the fridge and into a gift bag, packed the box of sweets he'd bought the day before into his backpack, and set out to Manhattan with no small amount of trepidation.

They were supposed to have gone together, but Bucky got called into a last minute debrief, and so it was up to Steve alone to walk into the building towering above Grand Central and find his way up to the private floors of the Avengers.

The security guard let him through the private elevator after checking his identification, at least, and the elevator doors opened up just as he got there, then closed behind him without him having to do anything.

It was most likely operated by the AI of the Tower that Bucky had mentioned, but it – him? – didn’t talk to him, and Steve would’ve felt stupid asking the thin air if he was really authorized to be there. But he most have been, otherwise they wouldn’t have let him through.

Even so, he barely had time to notice that some buttons had small symbols of each Avenger instead of numbers. He guessed that the star represented Bucky, and then the elevator stopped and let Steve out.

Three things hit Steve immediately about the room: the Christmas music playing over the people chatting, everybody wearing something festive, and the insane amount of decoration _everywhere_ in the room. The latter was what had him pausing, dumbfounded, and blinking back at the fairy lights that zig-zagged across the ceiling, the LED lines bent into the shapes of... forest animals?, the blinking red and blues and yellows on the Christmas tree– _trees_ , plural, because there were three that Steve could see. Mistletoe and holly hang from above, and on the evergreen branches taking up every single surface not dedicated to sitting, and even some that were probably dedicated for it, like the barstools by the bar (the _bar_ , but why even was Steve surprised that the room had a bar at one end).

Steve had never felt like had stepped into a snow globe in his life until now.

"Mr. Rogers!" shouted a voice, and Steve jerked out of his stupor and closed his jaw. A woman came towards him in a sharp pencil skirt and an even sharper updo, in heels high enough to kill, and Steve could instantly tell that she was not to be messed with. "You must be Steve Rogers."

Her voice was sweet, like her smile, but even if he hadn't recognized the head of Stark Industries in her, he would have known she could have cut him in half.

"Good evening, Miss Potts," Steve said. "Or doctor? I heard there would be at least two, if not more."

Her pearly smile turned into a genuine laugh. "Pepper will be fine."

"Then please call me Steve," he said, shaking it.

"Nice to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you."

She guided him towards a coat rack, and Steve began the tedious process of getting rid of his hundred layers of warmth, and in good time, too: it was unpleasantly hot inside.

"Really?" he asked. He'd had the impression that Bucky wasn't the type to gossip.

Pepper's strawberry hair contrasted with her blush. "Well, enough to make me curious, for sure. All of us, actually! Let me introduce you to everyone."

Steve got the box of cookies out of his backpack, and his wine, and offered those up to Pepper before she had a chance to lead him away.

"Merry Christmas," he said, reasonably confident that she celebrated the holiday.

"Oh thank you!" she seemed genuinely grateful. "I'll put them on the table."

The table ran the half of the room and was beginning to curve under not just the miniature trees, lit-up gingerbread houses and the train going around a snowy track, but the plates and platters and bowls full to the brim with snacks, desserts, sandwiches, and other foods Steve couldn’t recognize.

Steve's little box of store-bought cookies looked really sad especially when Pepper placed it right in the middle.

"I'll put this in the bar," Pepper said, indicating the wine, and Steve trailed after her. "I hear you're an artist?" she asked.

He subtly changed to be on her other side because his hearing aids weren't picking everything up perfectly. But an artist, if he'd heard right? Is that Bucky was telling everybody, that he was a starving artist? That would certainly excuse the 'gifts' he was beginning to regret buying.

"No, not really," Steve said. "I'm helping to design an app when I'm not at my desk job, is all."

Pepper walked behind the bar to put the wine into the double-door fridge, but she looked back at Steve with one eyebrow raised.

"He said you draw comics and do funny caricatures," she said.

"That's just a hobby," Steve said, and now it was his turn to blush. What _had_ Bucky been telling the Avengers? And Pepper Potts, apparently?

"Is this about art?" asked a new voice, and Steve turned to be met with the Falcon. "Barnes said you don't think your art is good enough and that we shouldn't bring it up."

"And you've taken his advice to heart, I see," Steve said, crossing his arms.

The Falcon laughed out loud. "He ain't my boss, so yeah. Sam Wilson, by the way."

"I know," Steve said; he'd heard enough of him, mostly along the lines of how annoying he was. Based on the sweater that had a row of dancing penguins in sequin Santa hats, Steve had a good idea as to why Bucky might have disliked him. "Steve Rogers."

"I kinda got that," Wilson grinned, and they shook hands. "Just because it's not your main source of income doesn't mean it isn't part of your identity, though."

That wasn't what Steve had expected at all, and not just because of the penguins. "Lotta things are a part of my identity that I don't get paid for," Steve said.

"For example?" Wilson asked.

"Getting beaten up by thugs twice your size," said a voice that Steve would have recognized everywhere, regardless of his hearing troubles. Bucky's arm sneaked around his waist, and Steve leaned into him, and then up, so that they could exchange a fast kiss.

"Then for you, it's gossiping about me," he said.

"Oh, I like you," Sam told him. Bucky narrowed his eyes at Wilson, who proved that the penguins may have stolen his common sense, because he kept smirking at Bucky despite the Death Glare. Steve, who also never heeded that look, felt a deep kinship forming.

"I hate you," Bucky said.

"How else would you describe him?" Wilson asked Steve, undeterred.

There were too many answers, Steve didn't even know where to begin. Bucky, despite towering over him, made him feel safe and at ease. Physically he could've broken Steve in half, even without his prosthetic metal arm, but he had the kindest attitude and the sweetest manners, and not just towards Steve, but towards everyone. Steve had been baffled as to why the rest of the world only saw the strong and tough exterior that Steve saw right through from the start.

"Is this a test?" Steve asked back, his own eyes narrowing.

"Oh, I _like_ him," Pepper said.

"Anything to drink?" Sam offered.

So it _had_ been a test.

Okay.

"Water?" Steve asked.

"Oh come on, it's Christmas!"

Steve took a deep breath. "I can't drink alcohol because of my meds, can't have milk and dairy products because I'm lactose intolerant, and I can't eat most nuts, including peanuts, because I'm allergic," he said. "Water seems the safest."

"We can be more accommodating than that," Pepper said. "We have vegan hot chocolate; would you like some?"

"I... yes, thank you," Steve said, thankful and a bit mortified.

Sam began preparing the drink, which included getting a bowl onto a small stove.

"A stove in a bar?" Steve asked Bucky in a low voice.

"With Tony involved?" Bucky asked back, which was a good point.

"It's not just because of you," Pepper said. "The vegan option, I mean, but even if it was, we'd be happy to do a few little changes if it meant you could enjoy the evening as much as possible."

"I didn't want you to go through the trouble because of me," Steve said.

"We do the same for everybody. I can't eat strawberries," Pepper said. "So we also have blueberry cheesecake. And there's a multitude of dairy-free options, too."

She smiled at Steve, not condescending, but with warmth shining from her blue eyes, and Steve returned the smile.

"Make mine with peppermint," Bucky told Sam.

"Make your own with peppermint," Sam replied, but he still picked the seasoning out from a drawer.

When the chocolate powder was added to the simmering milk, a new face joined their group.

"Hot chocolate, Bruce?" Sam asked courteously, and Bucky grumbled. Steve elbowed him, making Sam and Bruce both look at them.

"Bruce, this is Steve, my boyfriend," Bucky said, his arm around Steve's waist again.

"Bruce Banner, call me Bruce."

Bruce's handshake was the quickest and least gripping; without knowing that he was the Hulk, Steve would've assumed he was going easy on Steve. But he avoided eye contact, using the frame of his glasses as a barrier between himself and the world.

"Yes, to the chocolate, if it's not regular milk," Bruce said.

"Almond," Sam said, and poured the chocolate into mugs before adding the requested spices to each, including a splash of whiskey to his own serving.

"I heard you're working on an app that helps with disabilities?" Bruce asked Steve's shoulder.

Steve sent a glare at Bucky, the Gossiper, just for good measure before replying. "Yes, my colleague and I are in the testing phase."

"Disabilities?" Sam perked up, obviously the only one to have been left out of the news.

"Eating disorders, mental health, physical health, anything, really," Steve said.

Bruce leaned a bit forward as he was stirring his steaming beverage.

"What's your concept?"

"Oh, someone working on an _app_?" Tony Stark yelled, and a moment later, appeared to kiss Pepper's cheeks before looking around in their little group. "Ah, and it's none other than our cyborg's boyfriend!"

"Bucky is not a cyborg," Steve said, raising his chin.

"Technically, he is," Sam said.

"But you meant insultingly, not technically," Steve told Stark, who raised an amused eyebrow.

"Did you seriously came to my party, my house, to which I invited you, and tried to tell me what I can't do?"

"Tony," Pepper said with a sigh.

"I didn't tell you what to do," Steve said. "But you're right, I should've; don't call Bucky a cyborg."

"Ohoho," Sam said. Bucky began to subtly draw circles on Steve's back.

"You," Stark said, and Steve expected a threat of being thrown out, or maybe an actual order to be thrown out; God knows he would've deserved it. But regardless of estate ownership, Stark really had no right. "Are something else. Want to taste some of my best whiskey of '95?"

"You have that?" Sam asked. "Then why do I get something that was clearly bought in the corner shop?"

"Because you picked from the wrong shelf?" Stark answered. "And because you don't want me to install the extra repulsors to your boots."

"I don't drink alcohol," Steve said, when Stark moved to get the expensive bottle, not that it stopped him. "And repulsors to the Falcon's boots would be counterproductive."

"Why not, and why?"

Bucky's circles slowly turned to just his hand resting on the small of Steve's back, and the feeling, just like always, soothed and grounded him.

"Because of my meds, and because the Avengers doesn't need another Iron Man."

Stark put the glass down and stared at Steve. Unlike Bruce, he seemed to only look at what he really found interesting instead of outright and permanent avoidance, but what he looked at, he looked at with a laser-tight focus.

Steve kept his chin up.

"Oh, you've been following our missions and have thoughts, have you? Please enlighten me about how I should run my team."

"Tony," Bucky said with a warning, but Steve shook his head.

"The Falcon is lighter and more flexible while Iron Man is stronger and faster,” Steve said, “but sometimes that's not what you need. The Falcon can do stealth and quick maneuvers in the air, and heavy boots would hinder that."

"Good point," Bruce said.

"The repulsors wouldn't weigh him down and would still allow stealth," Stark argued.

"Not on the ground," Steve said. "And you all need to be able to fight hand to hand on the ground."

"The boots could disassemble and he'd be free to move. And then they'd follow him in the air via tracking–"

"I'm not having a chip for that in me," Sam said.

"Body autonomy answers the question," Pepper said gently, but pointedly.

"It could be a bracelet," Stark waved, ignoring the signs.

"It would all just allow a magical or tech-savvy enemy more points of attack, all unnecessarily," Steve said.

"Are you implying my tech could be hacked?"

"All tech can be hacked," Steve said. "Yours has been as well."

A brief moment of silence set in.

"Damn, Barnes, where did you meet this guy?" Sam said after a whistle.

Bucky's hand tightened on Steve. "In an alley in the middle of the night."

Stark poured some chocolate for himself and Steve noticed that he'd foregone the whiskey.

"Let me guess, he was fighting someone and you had to step in?" Bruce asked with a small smile.

"I bet it was the other way around," Sam said, and when Bucky nodded, they gasped.

"The first sensible thing you've said all night," Bucky told Sam, and Steve gave him a disappointing look.

"No, no, let me back this up – and say that yes, JARVIS has been hacked before, but it was with my own tech that someone stole, and it doesn't count but fine, I see your point – so you saw the Winter Soldier, fighting, in a dark alley in the middle of the night, and jumped in to help him?" Stark asked with disbelief.

Steve nodded and shrugged a little.

"Of course you did," Stark mumbled.

"To be fair, I didn't know he was the Winter Soldier," Steve said. "But he was surrounded, wearing all black, the rest were threatening him, and I saw some knives being drawn."

"What were your weapons?" Bruce asked.

"I was carrying a heavy book," Steve said, and when they kept looking at him expectantly, he also raised his fists. "And these."

Pepper gaped at him; Tony drank from his hot chocolate with the expression of someone wishing he'd gone for the alcohol instead; Bruce looked horrified, and Sam's eyebrows were climbing higher and higher on his forehead.

"Told you he likes going against multiple enemies twice his size," Bucky said, halfway between amusement and exasperation.

"It was the right thing to do, you could've been in real danger."

"You could've hurt yourself – they _have_ hurt you."

"That's not the point."

Exasperation won, based on Bucky's deep sigh.

"And what do you do when you're not doing suicidal stunts in sketchy places and insulting the intelligence of geniuses?" Tony asked.

"He was just about to tell us an app regarding disabilities," Bruce said, this time looking over Steve's ear.

"In my nine to five I'm a security manager," Steve said. "So yeah, it's kind of my job to see the potential weak links and possible points of attack. And I'm also working on this app – I mean, my partner Peggy is doing the coding, and I'm doing the design and am also the first test subject – it’s essentially a chose your own adventure-style help yourself solution to people living with illnesses and disabilities and disorders."

They all looked at him, encouraging if a bit bewildered, so Steve went on.

"A lot of the times when someone is neurodivergent, or has chronic pain, or is disabled, or anything similar, they have trouble getting the help they need. _We_ do," he stressed, and saw Sam and Bruce nod, and Pepper, too, and Stark cocking his head to the side. "Not just because of money and lack of available help, but because our brains are in no state to tell us what we need to do. And there are already guides out there to take your meds or work out or track your pain levels, but it's not help if you don't realize that's what you should do, right? So we are working on an app that lets you select how you feel, what your symptoms are, and then tells you the best source of action is, all based on what you’ve already put in. It's fully customizable. For example, you can teach it what your symptoms of a panic attack are and what helps you with it, and then, we you have a panic attack, you select the symptoms you have, and it tells you what to do. There is no need to trying to remember or come up with something on your own."

A moment of silence set in, and Steve pulled his shoulders up consciously, then turned the motion into a shrug. "Our goal with is that at least your own brain won't sabotage you getting help, and you only need to worry about external factors, not internal."

"Man, that sounds amazing," Sam said, before Steve could go further on. "I know so many people who'd benefit from it."

Bruce nodded along. "It's like an external brain, where you delegate your lines of thought in case of an emergency, right? That could also tell us a lot about how the brain works and how one cognitively groups tasks together."

The others murmured in agreement, and Steve let out a long breath and smiled.

"Of course it's amazing, it's Steve," Bucky said over them.

Steve rolled his eyes. "It's still in the test-phase. We'll need at least six months to launch."

"Six months!?" Stark asked.

"We both work from nine to five, so yeah," Steve said. "We've started registering trademarks and everything, but it's all a slow process."

"Regardless, I think it's a great idea," Pepper said, putting her hand on Stark's. Stark looked at her, betrayed.

"I wasn't going to," he said.

"You were," she told him.

"No, I just mean if it were voice activated, for instance, that could reach not only the blind or impaired, but those that have trouble focusing on written words during a panic attack," he said, hands flailing.

He sounded exactly like someone who spoke from experience, and Steve re-evaluated his image of Stark. Come to think about it, he knew many people – some of whom inspired them to begin working on this app – covered their anxiety and neurosis with loud, almost-abrasive behavior, and Stark seemed to fit into that line.

"That's in our plans," Steve told him after deciding to take his words as more constructive than criticism.

"I could help you fund the project," Stark said, and Pepper sighed.

"Tony."

"I could! Simple and legal sponsorship, what's wrong with that?"

"That we promised Bucky not to be too intense and scare Steve away?" Pepper asked.

"Are we scaring you away by offering money?" Stark turned to Steve. Bucky snorted.

"No, but you are definitely intense," Steve said. "And I can't enter a business discussion without Peggy."

"Okay, then let's set something up–"

"–in the new year," Bucky finished for him.

"–in the new year," Stark agreed. "Because even SI could officially back something with this potential, we could tie it into our prosthetics program, and–"

"Discuss the rest after the holidays," Pepper told him.

"Yes, but imagine the possibilities!"

Steve was pleasantly surprised. He'd been met with disdain, laughter and hunger for money before, when he'd cautiously mentioned their project to a few associates, and Stark's genuine enthusiasm was something that Steve appreciated.

Maybe he wouldn't need to be on such high guards here, after all.

"Oh, hey, Rhodeybear, you're not gonna believe this!" Tony said, and Steve found himself being introduced to Colonel Rhodes and Stark half-explaining his concept, half prompting Steve to do the same.

Rhodes appeared to be a much more level-headed man than Stark, but given that they were best friends, and based on the stories Steve had heard from Bucky, Steve had no doubt that Rhodes could be just as unhinged as Stark. And he was a military man, and no matter how hard Steve tried, he couldn't quite behave the same way –- he straightened his back and stood with his weight on both legs, at shoulder's length apart, and Rhodes noticed it.

"Were you in the military?" he asked, once the questions about the app dwindled down, and Pepper distracted Tony with a Christmas-smoothie.

"No," Steve said. "I got rejected."

Rhodes had the decency to not look him up and down pointedly. "Why? You'd fit in with the air force."

"Agreed, and from what I've seen, he'd be a damned good strategist," Sam added.

"I tried the army," Steve scoffed, offending both men at once.

Bucky guffawed in agreement. “He has good taste.”

"Hey!" Sam exclaimed. "Watch how you talk to a superior officer."

"I'm no longer employed, and neither are you," Bucky shrugged easily. "And in the Avengers, Tony outranks all of us."

"God help us all," Sam mumbled.

“You really should've tried the AF,” Rhodes told Steve.

"No, he shouldn't have," Bucky muttered. "He gets into enough trouble as is."

"They would've said no too," Steve said. "I'm color blind, almost deaf to my left ear, have scoliosis, asthma, high blood pressure, heart murmur, and stomach ulcers," he listed, wondering as always if he was forgetting something.

"Not to mention the allergies," Bucky said.

"Oh yeah, and my family history of diabetes, cancer, and stroke."

Both USAF men stared at him with mouths partially open.

"And you applied to the army?!" Sam asked.

"I wanted to do my part and fight in Afghanistan before I realized that wasn't the right thing to do," Steve said defensively.

"I get that," Sam said, more subdued.

"With all due respect, I disagree," Rhodes said.

Steve opened his mouth to disagree with his disagreement and explain why both the Iraq and Afghanistan wars were immoral, unjust and packaged with a heavy layer of propaganda full of lies, and the only thing that stopped him was Bucky exclaiming loudly.

"Nat! Clint! Over here!"

They turned to see the two most regular Avengers approaching: Hawkeye in antlers and a knitted sweater, the Black Widow in a formal black dress. Pepper hugged Romanoff, and Barton waved at everybody.

Bucky introduced Steve to the newcomers, and Steve was met with a gaze he'd hardly ever found on himself. It wasn't only that women (and men) didn't often check Steve out, because Romanoff wasn't doing that: she was _assessing_. In that, she reminded him of Bucky, who had the same evaluating look about him. Steve even understood that; after all, his job did include finding threats, just like he'd said earlier to Stark. But when he found a threat, he would delegate the right men to deal with it. Romanoff looked at him as if she could see his darkest secret and like she could have disposed of the body (his body) and the evidence and walk away scot free, should it come to that.

She probably could have, was the thing.

"Bucky's been keeping you a secret for far too long," she said after the initial pleasantries.

"Is anything a secret from you?" Steve asked.

"Not really," she said easily, and the corner of her lip turned up in the promise of a smile.

"Please tell me there is alcohol," Clint told Bucky.

"It's Stark," Bucky said.

"Yeah, but he doesn't drink."

"He still has everything," Bucky said, and since the others have dispersed in the room in search of food and comfortable sitting options, he headed to the bar. "What'cha want?"

Barton shook his head and shrugged. Bucky pulled out a bottle of eggnog and poured. Steve watched them, and felt Romanoff watching him, so he glanced at her with a raised eyebrow.

"It's not every day an Avenger falls in love with a security manager," she said, revealing that indeed, no secret was safe from her.

And it was maybe stupid, but instead of being freaked out about hanging out with such powerful people, Steve's heart just beat faster at the way she said 'love'. His gaze turned to Bucky: strong arms gentle with the bottle, metal hand panging on the glasses, how he tucked a stray of hair behind his ear and laughed at something Barton said.

"It's not every day a security manager finds as good a person as him," Steve said in a low voice.

Her eyebrow twitched, and she took a glass from the returning Barton without comment.

"Why don't we have music here? Hey, JARVIS, put on something festive!" Stark's voice carried over their heads, and the room instantly filled with some cheerful bells and a children’s choir.

The response was an instant groan from everybody.

"I need more," Barton said, and took the bottle before reaching behind his ear.

That was a neat trick, Steve noted, and waved so he got Barton's attention before signing. "Aren't you worried you'll miss something?"

Barton stared at him; clearly he wasn’t as well informed as Romanoff. "No," he signed and shook his head. "Nat will warn me. Want to do the same?"

"Yeah, but my right ear is okay," Steve signed. "So turning my aid off wouldn't help."

"Nothing helps, not even alcohol," Romanoff joined with the signing. Her movements were guarded and sharp, unlike Barton’s loose gestures, but it was clear that they had both been fluent in ASL and had been using it regularly.

"Having to listen to holiday music is not the worst thing in the world," Bucky signed.

Bucky was the least festively dressed, other than Steve, who didn't get the memo that this would be an unofficial ugly sweater contest, and despite the menacing black outfit, he bobbed his head to the beat. And maybe he was right. Steve only knew a part of his past because Bucky was, by nature, very secretive (and because the official files Steve had hijacked were not elaborate enough), but he thought that for a previously tortured POW it must have felt good to be able to celebrate with friends to the tune of silly music.

"You're right," Steve told him, and squeezed Bucky's hand, and Bucky squeezed back.

Romanoff signed something to Barton that Steve couldn't decipher, but which had Clint snort and Bucky grumble.

"Was that in Russian sign language?" Steve asked and signed at the same time, and when Romanoff reluctantly nodded, he exhaled. "Wow. Just how many sign languages do you speak?"

He glanced at Bucky who ducked his head. "A few?"

"I'm more surprised you didn't call her a liar," Barton signed. "Most don't know that there _are_ multiple sign languages, sometimes not even the hearing impaired."

"I know, once someone from LA started screaming at me and told me I was appropriating sign language by not using it correctly," Steve signed back. He and the woman almost ended up in a fistfight, too, when she refused to understand that different languages, language structures and dialects existed in sign languages as well.

"Did you get hit?" Bucky asked, because he was all too familiar with the conflicts Steve somehow always managed to get himself into.

"No," Steve shook his head.

"I'm shocked," Romanoff signed, because she had picked up on it, too.

"As if you have room to talk," Bucky pointed out.

"If I punched every asshole I met my hands would be worn to my elbows," Nat signed the shockingly vivid image with the sweetest movements. "I have self-restraint."

"And alibis: if anybody asks what we're up to, I can't hear and she's Russian," Clint signed.

"Which is true."

"It still didn't stop that cop, remember?"

Bucky tapped on Steve's hip and nodded towards the couch. "Why don't we sit down?"

Romanoff and Barton came with them, to Steve's great relief: no matter how many muscle strengthening exercises or PT he did, he still wasn't able to be on his feet for excessive periods of time. Not that he would have ever complained, but Bucky had no qualms making sure that Steve was comfortable.

Bucky brought them more drinks and snacks, and Steve listened to the wild shenanigans that the Black Widow and Hawkeye got into, told with hands and mouths, depending on which wasn't full of food. He would've assumed that their missions would have been what James Bond stories were based on: full of heroics, sex, and shootouts, and maybe they were and the Avengers were just sparing him, but it didn't feel that way. Instead, they aligned with the kind he'd heard from Bucky, too: long periods of waiting in wildly uncomfortable places, in swamplands full of mosquitos, in wet and cold basements, in the heat of a desert, and then a brief run to get to a laptop, plug in a pendrive and then get out before anybody noticed.

Clint – because he soon became Clint instead of Barton – had shown the place where some jungle insect bit him hard enough to scar his elbow, and how that almost cost him his mission because he couldn't stop scratching it and knocked some trinket down that alerted the target to his presence. He was also prone to ending up in trashcans and dumpsters and smell like hell when he got home, according to Bucky, in return for which Clint recounted how Bucky once was convinced they were busted and ran to the top of a 20-story building only to find out it was raccoons making the noise.

By the end of that one, Bucky was red as a beet and they were all laughing hard enough to attract the attention of the others.

Rhodey brought popcorn and proved that MIT and the air force both provided a rich soil for students/cadets trying to outsmart their superiors and being embarrassed as a result, and when Tony wandered over to see what was going on, Steve learned about how he constantly snuck into parties despite being heavily underage at college and that he once took (and passed, with flying colors) a final on a class that he hadn't even been signed up for.

"I'm a changed man now!" Tony protested, and neither Rhodey nor Pepper contested that. Instead, they showed some what they called "outtakes" of getting used to operating the Iron Man, War Machine and (to Steve's mild surprise) Rescue armors, which included trying to pick things up but breaking them instead, marching with the grace and subtlety of a rhinoceros, and using the repulsors with too much force and yeeting themselves into the air, and, occasionally, walls.

Bucky didn't find those as funny as the rest did. "I'm sure there wasn't a safer way to test the armors," he said dryly.

"Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for science," Tony countered.

"You really don't," Bucky said.

"If someone's life is on the line you want to help, you might," Steve added, and Bruce nodded.

"Oh my god," Bucky said, and buried his face in his hands.

Sam wasn't afraid to air the Avengers' dirty laundry with missions gone awry. The giant rats that the Hulk adopted, for instance, or when they all thought Thor could read minds, he was so good at poker the first time he tried it, while it turned out that he could see Clint's cards reflecting in his sunglasses.

Even Natasha joined in, although she was the most dignified of the group, but even she revealed that she once had to fake a cockney accent and pretend she didn't know who the prime minister was for a few weeks when she was gathering intel.

"She kept dropping the T-s for a whole day after she came back," Clint snitched, and Natasha threw a handful of fake snow at his head.

Steve wasn't immune. He joined in with his comments and was glad to notice that he never had to raise his voice or fight for attention, because the group was very good at listening to him – even Tony. Maybe because he was a visitor as they talked over each other, but when he spoke up, they stopped and paid attention. Usually he wouldn't have wanted to recount how one of his protest signs supporting Planned Parenthood went viral, or how he got thrown out of a theater for arguing with a racist patron, but the Avengers were very good with asking the right questions that led to the retelling of an affair or another.

Bucky was less happy about these. He tensed up next to Steve more and more and worried the tip of his metal fingers; a nervous tick.

"...and the nurse was not happy when she found out about _that_ injury a few weeks later when I had to go in for something completely different," Steve finished the story of how he walked around with a fractured arm without noticing it on top of his other pains and aches.

"What was the ‘something completely different’?"

"Oh, don't tell me, you wanted to fight someone _else_ twice your size!"

"It's not my fault everybody is twice my size!" Steve protested indignantly.

"And yet you're still very eager to fight them," Bucky mumbled.

"Come on, Robocop, these are hilarious," Tony said.

"Until he ends up in hospital," Bucky fired back.

"Most of us also do."

"Steve isn't an Avenger."

"He'd fit right in."

Steve scoffed at Tony. "Don't ridicule me."

"I'm not! I'm just saying, you have the kind of recklessness that we appreciate, especially combined with your tactical sense."

Steve looked at Bucky for advice, but Bucky was avoiding his eyes, so he turned back to Stark. "Are you seriously offering me a job as an Avenger?"

"Not necessarily an outirght Avenger, but as an agent helping our work. Would you take it?" Tony asked back.

Not without talking it through with Bucky, because this would certainly affect their relationship, but Bucky was still not looking at him. "I'd consider it," Steve said. He liked working at security and feeling that he could help, but he'd always wanted _more_ – he'd applied to the military for a reason, after all. "I would still want to work on our app."

Now that he got to know them a little bit, he wouldn't have minded working with them. They were very far from his perceived image of spoiled, entitled people; instead, he saw that all of them carried heavy baggages, just like he himself did.

"I told you I'm interested in investing there, too," Tony waved. He, especially, wore the most misleading mask.

"And my veterans might be up for testing it out," Sam offered.

Steve gaped at him. For months they'd been met with ridicule and dismissal on official platforms, and now suddenly the Avengers were on their side?

"But any additions to the team or staff would need to be talked through and approved," Pepper said, gently.

Ah, yes, that was much more like it. Steve nodded.

"I'll get a refill," Bucky said, and before anybody could have asked to bring one for them, too, he was halfway to the bar.

Steve looked at his back before standing up himself. "Me too," he said. His eyes briefly met Natasha's, who was watching _him_ with close attention – was this a test?

But something was bothering Steve about this, and he wasn't going to leave it at that.

Bucky had poured more hot chocolate into his mug by the time Steve caught up, but then he was just standing there, facing away from the couch where the conversation went on without them.

"Hey," he said quietly, and when he got close enough, Bucky bumped his shoulder.

"Hi."

"What's wrong?" Steve asked. "You jealous?"

He meant it as a joke, but Bucky's eyes tightened.

"For real?" Steve asked.

"Not jealous," Bucky sighed. "I knew they would love you."

"Really? I thought you didn't want to introduce me to them because you were afraid I'd be too... obnoxious or..."

"Steve, no," Bucky pulled him close. "I was certain you'd get on well with everybody. If anything, I was afraid you'd get on _too_ well and... Tony is right, we're reckless."

Steve curled up to Bucky to place a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "I want to talk this job offer through with you before I accept it, don't worry."

"You _can_ accept it," Bucky sighed. "It's your life and I have no right to tell you what to do."

Bodily and cognitive autonomy was obviously particularly important to Bucky, but Steve heard the underlying feelings as well.

"But...?"

"But if something happened to you because I introduced you to them, because you got into a dangerous position, that would be on me. I don't want to lose you, Steve."

Steve turned to face Bucky, who was staring at the floor. The Christmas decor around them, the cheerful music where children sang about presents under the tree, even the mug of hot chocolate in Bucky's hands seemed far away from the heavy topic they stumbled upon.

Bucky had been used as a weapon before the Avengers and killed people he wouldn't have wanted to hurt without the brainwashing and torture. He still had nightmares and blamed himself and wanted to atone for his past. The idea of Steve potentially getting hurt because of him must have cut deep, too.

"Hey," Steve said, and waited until Bucky's beautiful stormy eyes found his. "I get into enough trouble already, don't I?"

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Yeah. You're responsible for all my grey hairs."

"So it wouldn't be that different, working security for a different organization."

"Either way, I can't stop you," Bucky said. "I know you want this."

Steve did. The more he thought about it, the more he could see the possibility of working with the Avengers. His expression must have betrayed his feelings because Bucky's face fell, then he took a deep sigh, and leaned down to kiss Steve.

"Thought so."

"I haven't accepted anything yet," Steve said. "You'll need to get together and discuss, too."

"They'll vote in your favor, and I can't blame them," Bucky said, and then, in a lower voice, "I'll vote in your favor too."

Steve raised his eyebrow at him. "Even though you'd rather I stayed out of danger?"

"You're right, you'll never stay out of danger," Bucky said, but more confidently and optimistically than before. "I'd never want to limit your life, either. And this way I can _personally_ make sure you're okay."

Steve squinted at him. "That better not mean constant surveillance, Winter Soldier."

"Never," Bucky lied, and laughed, and Steve kissed him again.

In just one afternoon, he got a probable new job offer where he'd be coworkers with his boyfriend, an investment and test group offer for his passion project, and the (very unsurprising) support of said boyfriend. Apart from the latter, that was quite the opposite of how he'd imagined this party to go, and he didn't mind that his preconceptions were proven to be untrue.

"I'm ashamed to say I thought they would be worse," Steve muttered into Bucky's shoulder. "But they had an open mind to me, and I was judgmental."

"You weren't," Bucky muttered back. "Only in your head, but you gave them a clear chance, and that's what matters."

Steve squeezed him.

"They're good people, and so are you," Bucky went on.

"So are you," Steve said, and caressed Bucky's cheek. "You _are_ ," he insisted, because Bucky needed to hear it.

Bucky leaned into his touch, his own arms still around Steve. "I was selfish to keep them from you."

"And yet here we are," Steve pointed out. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," Bucky smiled at him, but only let go when Sam came to the bar to get more alcohol.

"You are way to sappy for a fearless assassin, Barnes," Sam said. "At least your partner makes up for it."

Steve grinned and offered a fist bump, which Sam returned enthusiastically.

"I knew you two would get on like a house on fire," Bucky groaned.

But he still smiled proudly, so Steve didn't mind.

Steve would have to talk to Peggy, and Tony again, and sit down and discuss all of it with Bucky, but his head was already swimming with probabilities and possibilities. He didn't really have time to get them organized, though, because the elevator opened, and Thor stepped out with a brunette at his side.

And when Steve and the Avengers and co went to greet them, Steve wasn't worried about them not getting on well anymore. After all, if this evening proved anything, it was that Christmas was truly a magical time when anything was possible.

**Author's Note:**

> Steve's app is heavily based on [the analog brain app J is working on](https://adhdanalogbrain.com/post/190798340805/the-beginning), which is a wonderful concept and I can't wait to be able to use it.
> 
> All of Steve's ailments are movie canon btw. I, however, am not hearing impaired, so I hope I did okay with the bits of sign language! 
> 
> Kudos give me life and comments fill that life with the most wonderful kind of joy ^^ Merry whatever holiday you celebrate, if any, and have a better 2021 than what this year was!


End file.
